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What You Can Do if You’re Feeling Socially Isolated
By LIV You

What You Can Do if You’re Feeling Socially Isolated

There are a lot of people that feel alone these days. It’s not easy or safe to casually meet for dinner at a restaurant. It’s not advisable to meet at a friend’s house for a poker tournament.

A lot of the regular activities you normally use to connect with others and to get out of the house are off-limits now. It’s natural to feel out of sorts and isolated.

However, where there’s a will, there’s a way. There are opportunities to connect with others if you’re willing to think outside the box.

Find new ways to stay in touch with the outside world:
1. Be creative. Maybe your normal social channels and activities are now unavailable to you. That just means you need to be creative and find new ways to connect with others and spend your time.

  • Maybe you were in a bit of a rut anyway. Now might be a great opportunity to make a few changes in your life.
2. Meet safely. Go for a walk with a friend. Wear your mask and stay six feet apart. You can easily enjoy a walk together, have a conversation, and keep your distance.
  • Meet at the park and share a coffee.
  • There are plenty of ways to meet and be safe about it.
3. Use the phone. You can do more with that magical smartphone than just watch funny videos, play games, and text. Call people and talk to them. Conversational skills have really gone downhill over the last decade. Reconnect via your phone and have an honest conversation.
4. Use the internet. There are countless ways to use the internet to connect with others. Let’s consider just a few:
  • Skype and Zoom. These are just two of many software platforms that allow you to see and talk to others. Zoom is great if you want to talk to multiple people at once.
  • Online gaming. You can play card games, chess, checkers, and many other games and have a conversation at the same time.
  • Forums. If you want to be more anonymous, forums provide a great outlet for sharing your thoughts, but not your name or your face.
5. Take up a hobby. What do you like to do? What would you like to learn? Maybe you’d like to take up gardening this spring? Dancing? Chess? Piano? Knitting? Woodworking? Painting? Writing?
  • What could you see yourself doing that would be fun and interesting and take your mind off the current situation?
6. Be creative. Create something. A blog. A painting. A book. A song. A poem. A scrapbook. A flower arrangement. A set of shelves. Look for a creative outlet that interests you and let your creative side out for a change. Share what you create with the world. Take a picture or make a video and post it online.
7. Exercise. Exercise is a great way to change your perspective. It also helps to keep your mind and body healthy. What type of activity do you like to do? Do it.
8. Be safe. It’s easy to become fatigued with the Covid-19 situation and let your guard down. Avoid becoming reckless. Look for safe outlets for your need to connect with others.
The pandemic won’t last forever. In the meantime, if you’re feeling isolated, be creative and reach out to the people in your life. Maybe you can’t sit on the couch and watch a movie together, but there are other meaningful ways to interact with each other. Find new and enjoyable ways to spend your time alone and to connect with others.

 Dealing with Stress in Social & Non-Social Settings  #LIVYou #SelfCare

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​Are You Performing These Important Self-Care Practices?
By LIV You

Are You Performing These Important Self-Care Practices?

Self-care habits are among the most important. They show the world that you care about yourself. More importantly, they show you that you care about yourself.

It’s important to take care of yourself. No one is more interested in your care than you are. Maybe your mother cares more, but she’s not available 24/7 like you are.

Too many of us are too focused on helping others and not focused enough on our own care. You can’t do much for others if you’re not taking good care of yourself. Make yourself a priority, and you’ll be more useful to those in your life.

Care for yourself physically, emotionally, and mentally with these activities:


  1. Grooming. This can be a good gauge of your mental health. Those with significant mental health issues often neglect their grooming. It’s important to look and feel your best each day. It’s amazing how much a good shower, shave, and flossing can do for your mood and attitude.
  2. Healthy diet. It’s hard to rise above the quality of food you put into your body. Even with conflicting diets and advice out there, you have a good idea of what foods are healthy and which aren’t. Experiment with different diets and take note of their effects on your mood, sleep, energy, and focus.
  3. Exercise. Exercise has a positive effect on your mind and body. Exercise enhances your ability to sleep, uplifts your mood, and can increase your longevity. The current recommendation from the medical community is to engage in at least 2.5 hours of exercise per week.
  4. Practice gratitude. Gratitude is good for your soul. It creates hope and contentment even in trying circumstances. It’s easy to forget how much you already have if you’re not practicing gratitude each day.
  5. Practice forgiveness. Forgiving others has a powerful effect on your physical and emotional health. It also frees your mind from negative recurring thoughts and allows you to make more progress in your life. You’re only stealing time from yourself when you hold on to negative feelings toward others.
  6. Sleep. Set up a regular schedule for sleeping and stick to it. It’s not too hard to convince yourself of the importance of sleep. All you have to do is skip one night to experience the powerful impact of sleep on your wellbeing.
  7. Spend time with others. You can’t spend all of your time alone and remain emotionally healthy. It’s necessary to interact with others. How much human contact is needed varies greatly from one person to another. No matter how much of a loner you might be, though, spending time with others matters.
  8. Spend quality time alone. Spending time with others is important, but it’s important to spend some time alone, too. Everyone needs to get away and be alone once in a while. Again, how much time you need to spend alone is an individual preference. Make time for this important self-care practice.
Have you ever noticed that your self-care suffers when you’re down in the dumps? Have you ever noticed how much better your self-care is when you’re feeling positive and healthy? The quality of your self-care is a great barometer of your overall wellbeing.

Good self-care practices are also an effective way of keeping yourself firing on all cylinders.

If you’re feeling down and out, give extra attention to your self-care. You deserve the time and attention.

 LIV You Virtual Open House #LIVYou #SelfCare

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I Prioritize My Time, Energy, and Focus
By LIV You

I prioritize my time, energy, and focus.

I know that my results in life are dependent on how I spend my time. I am very choosy about how I spend my time each day. I know what is important to me, and I spend my time accordingly.

I know what I want to accomplish, and I spend time pursuing these goals. I know that if I spend my time more effectively, my life changes for the better. I avoid wasting my time.

I maximize the amount of energy I have each day. I know the type of diet that gives me the most energy and vigor, and I follow it. I get enough sleep each night, so I have the energy I need for the next day. I manage my energy wisely.

I am focused. I am clear on my objectives and can focus on them for long periods of time. This ensures that my time and energy are being used most effectively.

By prioritizing my time, energy, and focus, I am guaranteeing my success. I am learning how to control these three items better each day.

Today, I am giving extra attention to how I spend my time, energy, and focus. I am taking my productivity to a new level. I am excited by what I expect to accomplish today.

Self-Reflection Questions:
  1. What is my biggest goal for the next 5 years? What can I focus on today to help me achieve that goal?
  2. How much sleep do I need each night to have the most energy during the day?
  3. What are the major distractions in my life? What can I do about them?

 Feminine Energy #LIVYou #SelfCare

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Top 10 Reasons Why Meditation Might Not Be Working For You
By LIV You

Meditation is simple, cheap, and highly effective, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy. And to be honest, it actually is pretty easy, it’s just not what people expect it to be.

Beginners have all sorts of challenges when meditating, but most of them aren’t really problems. The complaints beginners have are simply part of the meditation process.

Meditation can work for everyone that puts in the time and effort.

Are these challenges holding you back?

1. Your mind is too active. Of course, it’s active. It takes practice before the mind quiets down, and it’s rarely silent even after years of practice. It takes about 20 minutes for experienced meditators to notice a slowing down of the mind.
  •         This isn’t really a problem. Part of the purpose of meditating is to learn how your mind operates. This is how it operates.
  •         Just return your focus to your breath.
​2. Your mind wanders. It’s not uncommon to suddenly realize that you’ve been daydreaming for the last five minutes. The solution is the same as the previous issue. Just return your attention to your breath and continue.
3. A lack of consistency. Meditation needs to be done daily to see the greatest benefits. It also needs to be done daily to gain a high level of proficiency. You can’t become skilled at what you don’t practice. Get as much practice as you can.
4. You fall asleep. It’s not easy to fall asleep if you have the proper posture. It should be impossible to stay asleep if you have the proper posture, as you’re sure to lose you balance and fall over.
  •         The best position for meditating is to sit up straight. If you lie down, you may struggle to stay awake.
   5.   Body pains. Holding one position can be painful, especially when you’re just starting out with meditation. Over time, your aches and pains will largely go away.
  •         It’s best to try to remain still. Shifting your position will only give temporary relief, and the process starts all over again. No matter how much it hurts, you’ll find the pain fades away and eventually moves to another location if you stay still.
  •         Itches fall into the same category. Just leave them alone and observe them.
​​​  6.   Boredom. Yes, meditation can be boring, especially if you’re used to significantly more stimulation. Learn to sit still with your boredom and just observe it. Boredom can be more fascinating than you might think.
  7.    Rationalizing that quitting is a good idea. Common thoughts include things like, “This is a waste of time.” “Why am I doing this?” “Is this all there is?” Again, just sit with your thoughts and notice them. Every thought is as meaningless as the next.
  •         Just realize that it’s your discomfort with stillness that’s bothering you. You’ll come to understand that many of the things you do in your life are to avoid this feeling. This includes things like staring at the TV and overeating.
  8.    Finding time. This excuse is hardly a valid excuse. Go to bed 20 minutes early and sit in the corner. Or get up 20 minutes early and do the same. The truth is, after a little practice, you can meditate at your desk or on a bus.
  •         If you had time to watch TV, surf the internet, or play on your phone, you had time to meditate.
 9.     Desiring perfection. Perfection in meditation isn’t achievable, but you don’t need to be perfect. Put in the time with your best effort. That’s all that’s required.
 10.    Expecting more. Meditation rarely involves earth-shattering insights. It’s a gradual process that brings understanding over time.
​
The problems above aren’t really problems per se. They’re simply misunderstandings of what normally occurs during a meditation session. Just keep at it and have faith that everything is as it should be.

 2nd Saturday, Meditation #SelfCare

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I Am Living the Life I Want to Live
By LIV You

I am living the life I want to live.

I am in charge of my life. I am the only person who determines what I do and who I become. It is up to me to choose the life I want and live it.

The life I am living is the life that I want to live. I work hard to acquire the career that I've always desired.

I have the family that I want to have. My mate is a great match for me. I am raising my children to behave the way I want them to behave.

Life is filled with situations that turn out differently than I expect. At those times, I get on my knees and pray for direction. I seek wisdom from people who are what I aspire to be and I make the necessary adjustments to my behavior.

The authority to alter the course of my life belongs to me. With a simple decision, I have the power to change where I am and where I am headed. I arm myself with the tools necessary to enact change.

Actions have consequences. Therefore, I align my actions with my desired result. When an action leads me away from my goals, I change my reaction so I can be more productive.

Today, I choose to pray for direction and reflect on where I am taking my life. I make adjustments to my behavior, even if it seems easier to change my goals than to change my behavior.

Self-Reflection Questions:


  1. Am I living the life I want to live?
  2. What do I need to change to achieve the life I want?
  3. Who can help me find direction?

 Making History Along Your Journey #SelfCare

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Keeping Your Love Cup Full
By LIV You

I give myself as much love as I give to others.

I love and support my family and friends unconditionally. I celebrate their joys and lift them up during hard times. I give them the foundation they deserve.

I know I deserve the same amount of love and support that I give to my loved ones. I am continually kind to myself because I am worth it. I avoid selling myself short when it comes to appreciating who I am and what I can accomplish.

When I make a mistake, I can admit it without beating myself up about it. I analyze where I went wrong and trust that I can avoid the same error the next time.

I take the time to treat myself to nice things, just like I do with others. My treats to them represent how much I love them. When I treat myself, I feel the same kind of love.

I feel reassured when I say kind words to myself in the mirror. Even when I notice my shortcomings, I recognize that there is far more to love than to see as lacking. I choose to focus on the positive things.

There is a lot about me that makes me special. I embrace those things every day and find peace with who I am.

Today, I commit to treating myself as kindly as I treat those I love, because I love and accept myself just the way I am.

Self-Reflection Questions:


  1. How can I promote greater feelings of self-love and acceptance within me?
  2. Do I acknowledge my input when I contribute to a meaningful accomplishment?
  3. How do I encourage myself to be positive when I feel unmotivated?

 Keeping Your Love Cup Full #SelfCare

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The Surprising Connection Between Sleep and Heart Health
By LIV You

Diet and exercise may be the first things that come to mind when you think about taking care of your heart. However, what you do overnight counts too. Sleep deficiencies can contribute to many heart conditions, and heart troubles can make it difficult to sleep.

Experts have been aware of a link between sleep apnea and high blood pressure for many years. Now, ongoing research is discovering similar interactions related to insomnia and other sleep disorders.

Learn more about how you can use sleep to keep your heart healthy. 

Understanding How Sleep Affects Your Heart

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention estimates that one third of adults get less than the minimum recommendation of 7 hours of sleep each night, adding to their risk for heart disease, diabetes, and obesity. What does that mean for you?

Consider these facts:

  1. Count your hours. Lack of sleep can disrupt your hormones and cause calcium buildup and other changes in your arteries. On the other hand, excessive sleep of more than 9 hours is associated with higher health risks too. Most adults need to aim for 7 to 8 hours nightly.


  2. Watch your blood pressure. Your heart slows down, and your blood pressure drops while you sleep. This nocturnal dipping gives your body a chance to heal from daily stress. Without this time off, you’re more vulnerable to hypertension and other issues.


  3. Manage diabetes. Elevated blood sugar can harm your blood vessels. Sleep helps to stabilize blood glucose, lowering your risk for prediabetes and Type 2 diabetes.


  4. Lose weight. Do you crave fattening foods after a restless night? Studies show that lack of sleep may throw your hunger hormones out of balance, and make you want to overeat. Excess pounds increase inflammation and strain your heart, especially if they settle down around your midsection.


  5. Reduce sleep apnea. If you snore and feel tired during the day, you may have sleep apnea. This disorder causes you to stop breathing intermittently while you’re asleep, putting you at greater risk for heart attack, stroke, and atrial fibrillation. Ask your doctor about CPAP therapy and other options.
      
  6. Minimize disruptions. Even if you go to bed early, frequent interruptions can keep you from enjoying the four essential stages of sleep. The deeper stages of non-rapid eye movement sleep are especially beneficial for your heart. In addition, continuous sleep keeps your heart rate from spiking each time you wake up.

More Heart-Healthy Habits

Almost 80% of heart disease and stroke are preventable, according to the American Heart Association. Small lifestyle changes can make a big difference.

Include these heart-healthy habits in your daily routines:

  1. Be consistent. One study found that shift workers had almost 20% higher rates of coronary heart disease. If possible, go to bed and wake up at around the same time each day.


  2. Change your diet. Eat more fiber, including vegetables, fruits, and whole grains. Cut back on saturated fat and avoid trans fats.


  3. Exercise regularly. Work your way up to doing at least 150 minutes of moderate activity each week. Cardio workouts like running and biking strengthen your heart and lower your blood pressure. Strength training conditions your heart and enhances your overall health too.


  4. Learn to relax. It’s natural to feel anxious sometimes, especially in these chaotic times. Relaxation practices can help you to cope and enjoy more restful sleep. Take part each day in activities that help you relax.

Sufficient sleep and other heart healthy habits can lower your risk for many serious medical conditions. Talk with your doctor, so you can figure out which factors are most important for helping you to lead a longer and more active life.

The Importance of Self-Care for Black Women #SelfCare

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15 Art Therapy Exercises You Can Do at Home
By LIV You

Art therapy is an interesting field of mental health care that is based on the premise that expressing yourself creatively can enhance well-being and promote emotional healing. It can also boost self-awareness.

While there are licensed art therapists, you can do many of the same art therapy exercises at home that you would do in a clinical setting.

You don’t have to be a great artist to receive the benefits of art therapy. Anyone can draw, paint, color, sculpt, or create a collage. It’s true that some can do these things better than others, but skill is irrelevant in art therapy. The act of creating is what’s important.

Try these art therapy activities:


  1. Create sock puppets and put on a play. Making a couple of sock puppets will put a smile on anyone’s face. You can act out a scene from your life. Maybe you want to re-enact a fight you had with your spouse. Or help a child vent their frustrations related to a bullying incident.
  2. Create a sculpture that matches your mood. Get your hands on some clay or Play-Doh and let your imagination run wild. Feeling anxious? Create a sculpture that represents that feeling. Dealing with some rage? See what ideas you have for representing rage with clay.
  3. Make a collage with photographs that you love. Go through your old photos and make copies of some of your favorites. Create a collage that exemplifies the emotions that those photographs stimulate in you.
  4. Draw a picture that represents utopia to you. What is your version of a perfect life or a perfect world? Draw it. What makes it so perfect for you?
  5. Create a painting that represents your childhood. What are the most important moments of your childhood? Will you include only positive memories? Or are you in the mood to get your hands dirty and deal with the negative events, too?
  6. Draw or paint your negative traits. Consider your negative traits and find a way to represent them in a piece of art.
  7. Draw or paint your positive traits. Do the same with your positive traits.
  8. Make a flag with a motto that represents your intentions. What motto would you put on a flag that best describes your intention in life?
    • Power?
    • Sacrifice?
    • Peace on Earth?
    • Love?
    • Domination?
 9.     Make a dreamcatcher and find a place to hang it in your room. If you don’t know what a dreamcatcher looks like, look it up online. Create your own version of a dreamcatcher and put it in an appropriate place.
10.    Draw a scene from one of your nightmares. Since we’re on the subject of sleep and dreams, recreate a scene from a recent bad dream. If you haven’t tried your hand at drawing lately, now would be a good time.
11.     Build an altar. Create an altar that is unique to you and will help you to connect fully with your spiritual side.
12.    Create a map of all the personal connections in your life. Put yourself in the center and diagram all of the relationships you have. Compare that to all the relationships you had 10 years ago. What’s changed?
13.    Create a website. There are plenty of places to create a free website, such as www.wordpress.com. Build a website that represents your interests.
14.    Paint a rock. List your values on the rock and put it where you can see it each day.
15.    Draw your safe place. Use any medium you like. Create a place that makes you feel safe from the world.


Art therapy is a gift that you can give yourself. Pick one exercise and give it a try. Experiment and see what happens. These 15 exercises are just the tip of the iceberg. There are hundreds more for you to discover.

2nd Saturday Event: Paint & Sip #SelfCare

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Set Yourself Free by Being Yourself
By LIV You

Authenticity is underrated. It’s more than being honest with the world. It’s about being honest with yourself. There are many advantages to being authentic. Most importantly, you’ll no longer feel the need to change your words and actions to impress others. You can relax and be yourself.

Before you can be authentic, it’s important to know yourself. This includes your values and goals. Authenticity becomes possible when you know what’s important to you.

Embrace authenticity and present yourself honestly:

1. Give up the need to appear perfect. Excellent is good enough. But seriously, when you don’t need to appear perfect, you’re in the position to be honest. No one can be perfect and honest at the same time. Avoid putting on a show for the rest of the world. You’ll only feel bad about yourself later.  
  • It’s okay to be less than spectacular. Be the best at being yourself.

2. Know your values and live by them. If you know your values and live by them consistently, you’re already doing well in the authentic department.

  • Make a list of your values and determine the five that are most important to you. Are you living your life according to these values? Would it be obvious to others that you hold these values?

  • Decide to make your decisions based upon your values. Be willing to share your values with others.
​
3. 
Notice when you’re not being authentic. It’s not easy to be authentic all the time. You might find yourself transforming based on the situation. A first date is a good example. Are you being authentic or pretending to be someone you’re not?

  • Take note of those times your authenticity starts to wane

4. Know your goals. What do you want out of life? Do you know? Are you willing to let others know? By knowing your goals, you can you live your life accordingly.

  • Make a list of your short-term and long-term goals. How well do they align with your values?

5. What are your defining characteristics? Describe yourself honestly. Now ask yourself if a casual acquaintance would describe you the same way? How about someone that knows you well? How about your closest friend?

  • How many people know you well? If there aren’t many, ask yourself why. If you’re living authentically, it should be easy for someone to develop an accurate opinion of you.

  • What are your “negative” characteristics? Are you impatient or messy? Are you willing to allow others to see these characteristics or do you attempt to hide them?

6. Tell the truth. If you’re being authentic, why would you need to lie? This pertains especially to anything you say about yourself. Admit your mistakes, weaknesses, and frailties. Share your opinions honestly and freely.

7. Simplify your life. Get rid of everything that’s extraneous. What you choose to keep will be representative of your preferences and your true self. Find your true essence by stripping away the non-essential. Start with the clothes you never wear, the things you never use, and the activities you don’t enjoy. Only keep the things that mean the most to you.

8. Do what you say you’ll do. Keep your word and follow through on your promises. You’ll feel more congruent, and others will view you as more congruent. When your words and actions match, you’re demonstrating authenticity.

Life becomes easier when you’re living authentically. You’ll no longer feel the exhaustion that comes with constantly changing your opinions, attitudes, and personality to please others. You’ll no longer feel the need to protect yourself from others. Be authentic with your thoughts, words, and actions. Invest the time in yourself and learn to be free.

Self Value #SelfCare

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What is Spirituality?
By Stephany LIV You Coach

​Having a connection to something greater than oneself, involving the search for meaning in life, a universal human experience.

Spirituality is the quality of being concerned with the human spirit or soul as opposed to material or physical things. Knowing this, one must understand that life is a journey worth experiencing in the most healthy and happiest way possible. There is so much more to life than having the latest clothes, cars, popular lovers, dance moves, and any other societal fashion trends. Spirituality is getting to know the self on a much deeper level by having a connection through the sounds of the earth, seeing messages given through various forms that are not always the same, and listening to the voices through earth’s beautiful creatures. Choosing to seek your personal purpose in life.

To truly find your purpose, one must agree by saying “yes” to spiritual realm, become committed to finding your personal purpose, and remain committed despite the obstacles thrown. This level of conscious agreement, commitment, and understanding will shake your original understanding of life. Reason being, is because the thoughts prior to the agreement, are a completely different thought in itself, let alone the thought process and thought pattern.

For without challenges, we are not yet worthy of proceeding to the next level in life. Spirituality is a step above normalcy. Spirituality challenges your current thoughts, ways of understanding, and viewpoints. One comes to understand, that life throws the same obstacles a person’s way, even though the obstacles look and feel different. Just as life throws those same obstacles, the spiritual realm watches and walks alongside, as the person decides how to react or respond to life’s challenges with the new thought process and consciously remembering that you have already faced this obstacle.

Walking a spiritual path is consciously choosing to see, hear, and believe differently from learned behavior. That does not mean the person abandons their original belief system, it simply means to expand your current understanding of life, by choosing to learn a different way. At some point or another, we were all taught that there is a higher power. Spirituality is also a part of a higher power, if one chooses to see, hear, believe, and agree. 

Spiritual Wellness  #SelfCare

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